change.

we all go thru it.
and we all bitch about it.
good or bad. i think we need both.
its been happening a little too drastically to me recently.
a little here and there adds up.
but the cake of it all of course was the ending of a 5 year relationship.
breakups, no matter how abrupt, inevitable, or one-sided are never easy for the parties at hand.
technically i had been with him for a quarter of my life.
thats a little scary right?
that first morning where you wake up and suddenly realize everythings changed.
thats the morning to live thru.
if u can make it thru that then u should be alright.

im moving again.
i signed a one year lease.
its weird right?
i cant commit to breakfast sides but yet i gotta commit to where i sleep.
the place is alright.
its actually a two bedroom apartment but theres two separate entrances and the door that connects the two rooms is blocked off.
so i have my own master bedroom and bathroom.
its sorta like living in a studio apartment.
i like it because i dont have to go thru someone elses house to get to my room.
i hate pretending to be nice.
and at the end of a long day i just cant muster the strength to be pleasant.
theres underground gated parking and an elevator that takes me up so hurrah!
no more dragging alla my shiet up stairs.
oi i hate that.
everywhere i live theres fucking stairs.
the girl that lives in the other room has like the opposite schedule as me.
she goes to uci and lives in irvine during the week and goes home to alhambra on the weekend.
while im the exact vice versa.
nifty.
im looking forward to the solitude.
i know im going thru a sorta lonely binge right now but its different.
right now i cant really come home to peace and quiet so really i just feel the need to do stuff in avoidance.
but if i had my own place it would be different.
sanctuary!
the only issue is the current tennants leaving on the 30th which is this sunday.
so i have to move in next week during the week.
and two weeks before finals....is not a smart move on my part.
blah.
i think i need to break it up into 5 or 6 mini trips.
its only 5 minutes away from here so not so bad.
i was dying to find a place in glendale so i could be closer to school but that shit is way over priced.
whatev.
ill deal.

i missed class on monday.
but for a really fantastic reason i promise.
so far ive missed one session in each of my classes cept one.
and im about to have my second absence in my wednesday class tomorrow.
shit.
im scroooood.
but i have an even better reason to miss this one.
i think ill have another 3.30 term.
bah.
im over it.
i went over my schedule for summer and it looks alright.
cept i have a 9-4 class on monday.
yeesh.
how did i ever accomplish anything in those 56 minute classes in highschool?
malarkey!

i have my 3rd term review meeting tomorrow.
we're going over my first year at art center and choosing a track for me to go into transition.
blah blah.
im over it.

its 4 am.
i always do this.
i stay up late on monday nights painting then sleep tuesday afternoons after class.
then i wake up at like 8 and i cant sleep.
my stupidity knows no bounds

gnite.

someone sang this song to me =)

good night sleep tight
dont let the bed bugs bite
if they do get a shoe
hit them til theyre black and blue

aww garrrrsh. =D

friday night blues.

they're never all that great but this friday night has been particularly bad. im not sure why. type got out a little early and i went to workshop for a little bit. i had good intentions to stay but ended up chatting with gary meyer outside. he told me about his curriculum a little bit when he went to art center and about the classes he's going to be teaching this summer. and i rambled about my stupid meaningless crap. its so freaking easy to talk to that man. i just want to pour my achy breaky little heart all out to him. i bet a hug from gary meyer cures cancer.

anyhoo.
after that i chatted with larry about his misfortunes this term. it's wierd. we have sketching together every week but we never talk in that class. when i saw him tonight i felt like i hadn't seen him in weeks. must be because im always so damn burnt out in that class. yeesh.

well after that i packed it up and went home. in my car i felt this wierd discomforting need to go and 'do something' like i really wanted to go to a starbucks and veg out on caffeine and sit and doodle for a few hours. or barnes and noble. but it was like 930 and i decided against it. but for some reason this friday night was unusually lonely for me. i know i have tons of homework but i just didnt feel like doing any of it. and i really didnt want to go home and deal with...that...but i did.

sigh.

i stayed home and watched movies and doodled in my brand spanking new sketchbook. its my greatest fucking joy in life... cracking open a brand new sketchbook and totally tearing that shit up with my sillyness. call it pathetic i dont give a care. that is my bliss. and according to joseph campbell, i should be following it.

goodnight champs.
ill say a little prayer for yaw.