. n i c o l e y a n g .

return to oil

2009-01-21T20:49:00.001-08:00

heres my savory attempt to return to oil.
after a year of not touching the stuff and over two years not painting a portrait with em..i finally fell back into it.
i wanted to take portraiture with david luce for the longest time but it never fit into my schedule. i kept wandering in and out of the class during my breaks last term.
so much so infact that david mentioned it when i asked him to sit in the class.
"uh yea i remember you coming in and out a lot"
whoops.
anyway today was our first in class painting and it felt so amazing to just sit and paint again.
not FOR anyone but simply doing it for ME.
the smell of the oil..the feeling of making brushstrokes..i had forgotten how much i loved it.
right now i think its the only thing keeping me off the ledge.
that little thing thats maintaining my balance on the cusp of insanity....

so i finally decided i needed to take a term off..
i always thought i would go all the way thru with no breaks but thats insane.
i went 5 straight and im taking spring off..coming back in summer for 6th..fall = 7th..taking spring off and then graduating in the summer of 2010.

i wanted to use this term off to sit in on some classes and work on personal projects and hopefully just...get mo' betta.

and most importantly i really need to chill.
just....
chill.

i feel like my life has been this big blur during the last few years.
i havent had any breaks from school since my freshman year in highschool and that was over 8 years ago.
ive always gone to summer school and i went straight from highschool to jr college to art center.
maybe that wasn't the smartest move after all.
maybe i should have taken some time off to mellow.
iono...i dont really feel TIRED.
but i AM sick of working for other ppl.
im sick of all the assignments and stupid busywork.
im sick of listening to critiques for 5 hours at a time on other ppls work.
im sick of doing bullshit academic classes.
and im sick of being too tired from all of the above to do any work for myself.
i need this 'break' to get my motivation back.
set my priorities straight.

so my schedule looks something like this..

monday: storyboarding 7-10
tuesday: figure drawing at the animation union 10-4
wednesday: background painting 8-1 portraiture 2-7
thursday: dynamic sketching 8-1 digital life 5-10
friday: digital landscape 8-1
saturday: painting workshop

looks heavy for a term off but its only week two and im already over sitting in on background painting and digital life.
theres no point to sit in on background painting since its mostly crits.
and digital life seems like something i can do at home.
also ill probably ease out of digital landscape.
i have to take it eventually anyway.

and to top it off..
right now my energy level is on extra low.
ive been depressed and sleeping as much as i can.
somehow it feels like..if im asleep...then i wont have to worry.
like the moment i wake up...i think....fuck...im back...
i dont have much of an appetite and i think im way vitamin D deprived.
i dont wanna do shit..
but i know i have to..

theres only one thing i want..

loooong rambling. and totally NON ART related.

2008-11-04T03:06:00.000-08:00

finally went to the shop and got a much needed tune up on my poor abused car.
i had to wait at mcdonalds for 3 hours.
i brought my computer and wacom and did some homework for style.
man...the people there...ugh...
well...in general people are way stupider than i ever thought.
anyway...
i got this little gizmo on my way home.

x-acto verticle electronic pencil sharpener.

if you dont have one..GET ONE..
how did i EVER live without this thing???
i feel like ive been breaking pencils on purpose just to hear that familiar whirl.
panasonic can kiss my ass.
ive cleared a permanent spot for this bad boy on my table.

yes so scholarship week is finally over.
gone. finished. dead. tupac.
i was up for a few days trying to pull my typical last minute bullshit.
yea yea yea i get it.
do it sooner.
whatever.
when im in that frantic mode the LAST FUCKING thing i wanna hear is "why'd you wait til the last minute?"
uhhh.
cuz im a glutton for agonizing sleep deprived crusty eyelids.
im not blaming anyone.
its my own fault.
i already know that.
i dont need to hear it from anyone else.

soo..
halloween was a total waste for me.
after this disgusting week my internal clock had an unrecoverable aneurism and decided to sleep thru the rest of the fucking week!
i was up sunday..monday..tuesday..until wednesday around 1pm.
i missed my morning class but i thought..ill just rest my eyes a little til my afternoon class.
i didnt wake up til like 2am.
i was so confused.
i missed thursday because..well quite frankly i didnt feel proud of my homework for that class and i respect my teacher too much to bring him half assed work.
even if it means skipping a day.
so i stayed home and worked.
but thursday night was clouded with my own bullshit relationship problems and i couldnt fucking sleep til 5.
but i was SO prepared to goto my friday class.
the class is 130-530 and i woke up at 3.
aghaoerghao;erhago;erhtog;eritareta!!!!
needless to say i done FUCKED up week 8.
royally.

AND

i got a new alarm clock.
that old piece of shit was NOT doing its job.
it was like the equivalent of middle school mornings when my mom would peep in and go "pssst. are u awake?" hmm-mmm.
and thats it.

weekend flew by.
lots of staying home.
i made pancakes.
they were yummy.
no halloween for me.
although after seeing all the post party pictures on facebook i dont think i missed much.
lots of hoes in hoe gear.
course im one to talk considering my costume made me look like a big shiny disco ball.
i thought it looked stripper inspired.
but my mom loved it.
i guess ill take that as a bad call on taste but a good call on level of whore.
i had to match him =)
it was a mardi gras party so we did a roarin 20s theme.
mobster + flapper
he wore a [niiiiice] pinstripe suit with a fedora.
he looked so stylin!
it was his own tailored suit so it didnt even look like a costume.
it just looked like what he happened to be wearing that day.
anyway it was a fun night.
he can dance!
who knew!
ha =)

so its week 9 and i have to play ketchup on all the classes i skipped last week.
ugh.
i hate it i hate it!

more all nighters.
lucky i have ray lamontagne and jakob dylan to keep me company alllll night =)

pancake.

mee meee meeeee.

2008-10-07T19:03:00.000-07:00

havent touched my acrylics in over 6 months.
it shows. =/.

it figures..

2008-10-07T12:09:00.000-07:00

lag

2008-09-10T03:38:00.000-07:00

well i guess i neglected this thing long enough.
so to catch up to speed...

term 4 ended.
break started.
break ended.
and term 5 started today.

my schedule:

monday: off
tuesday: 8-1 creative perspective
wednesday: 9-1 image and idea [im pretty sure its 8-1 but it says 9 on my schedule so im showing up at 9.] 2-7 style
thursday: 8-1 color theory for entertainment
friday: 130-530 language of the moving image
saturday: class at LAAFA

oh and for the rest of the month ill be painting kiddies faces at south coast plaza on weekends.

break went by fast as usual.
nothing big was going on.
went to two dodger games.
going to my last one of the season on the 20th.
i heart manny ramirez! go 99!

i need to goto bed -_-.
i shouldnt have taken that nap when i got home from class. siiigh.
my hairs still wet =/
man...i wanna cut it.
i should cut it.
but im way too attached to it.

more updates with pictures soon..

blah.

buble is the man.

2008-07-29T03:29:00.000-07:00

everything - michael buble

youre a fallen star
youre the getaway car
youre the line in the sand when i go too far
youre the swimming pool on an august day
and youre the perfect thing to say
and you play your card
but its kinda cute
oh when you smile at me you know exactly what you do
baby dont pretend that you dont know its true
cause you can see it when i look at you

and in this crazy life
and through these crazy times its you its you
you made me sing
youre every line
youre every word
youre everything

youre a carousel
youre a wishing well
and you light me up when you ring my bell
youre a mystery
youre from outer space
youre every minute for every day
and i cant believe that im your man
and i get to kiss you baby just because i can
whatever comes our way oh we'll see it through
and you know thats what our love can do

on repeat non stop.
for no good reason other than its an amazing song.
and maybe im a glutton for my own wicked lonliness.
sigh.
im no ones swimming pool =/.

[ cept maybe Ks =D thanks for listening to all my woes and boozing with me. yay for girls night. ]

drama queen.

2008-07-23T03:28:00.000-07:00

mauricio sorta called me that today because i flipped out when i found out art of research is no longer required to graduate.
i then proceeded to tell some friends and i guess ruin their day as well -_-.
haha sorry!
well i am NOT being over dramatic.
and alex knows exactly what im talking about so ill leave it at that.
believe me i know when im hamming shit up and being overly dramatic.
i dont do it for attention.
i do it because if i dont it'll eat me up inside out.
and also sometimes i admit i cant deal with my emotions very well so in turn i tend to over react to avoid further analyzing.
it works really well in fact.
if im depressed and dont really know why its so much easier to get really angry at something that pisses me off than to deal with why im so fucking depressed.
its just easier to deal with black and white emotions right?
happy. angry. hungry.
much easier to cope with than 'sad'
i dont care if it IS a defense mechanism.
ill admit to it.
so call me drama queen or attention whore or whatever fucked up thing you want.
i dont need to justify myself to anyone.

[ and im not mad at mauricio haha ]

my final layout for sketching.
project was to take a common household item and turn it into some sorta building.
whatever.
you can figure it out.

2 hr drapery study assignment i just finished an hour ago.
cept my 2 hrs was compacted conveniently into 30 minutes.
i left my artbin in my locker so i was frantically searching for a pencil at home.
i cant believe i have NO charcoal or conte pencils of any kind at home.
i found the 2 inch stub of an old polychromo in the bottom of my drawer and just had to deal with it.
and the white was a prisma verithin i never used.

i havent done a head in a LONG while so i thought i would go to workshop on saturday morning.
for some reason i thought there was a painting one in the morning.
yea there wasnt -_-.
but i did do a 40 minute of louise.
i definitely will be back this week.
i need SO much practice.

40 min from mondays class.

i thought id put up pix of my bday presents =D
just cuz im a big show off with no shame.

oswald shirt.
oh its so perfect.
so me.
if you've never seen an oswald cartoon you muuuust.
they are hilarious.

mickey throw.
perfect for the hot weather.
and i love it because its classic mickey =)

and my favorite one.
light up musical snowglobe.
it plays the ballroom song! =)

yea ok i KNOW im a nerd.
OBVIOUSLY i dont care!
how effin EASY am i to shop for?
if ever a doubt..as long as its got a mickey on it ill love it.
thanks daddy =)

ive been trying to deck out my turtle tank but the little shit has grown twice his size in the last two months and now i have to get a bigger tank -_-.
arg.

meet Tar Tar.
my only friend.
the only one that listens to my bullshit at the end of the day.

he waits for me to come home and then proceeds to follow me around the room in his tank and beg me for food.
he eats shrimp from my hand.
and he makes weird bubbly water drip noises.
sounds like 'doink'.
that shit freaked me out the first time i heard it.
my turtle talks =D

oh ok heres a pickle.
ever since our cafeteria went 'green'
shit costs more.
and it takes me like an hour to throw something away because i have to 'organize' my garbage into the correct trash reciprocals.
and the spoons melt in my soup.
and the knives wont cut.
they just bend awkwardly into my chicken.
jeez.
and water costs 50 cents.
lols.
just an fyi.
its been done before.
the school went green a while back and then people complained about all of thee above and we went right back to wastin and pollutin.
i wonder how long this shit will run this time.

snooze time.
12 hr day. -_-

girl scars.

2008-07-22T03:53:00.000-07:00

[ this ones gonna be long and text heavy and also have nothing whatsoever to do with art ]

im so good at wasting time it's ridiculous.

i would so take home the gold in the procrastination event this year in beijing.

i mean, everyone does it right?

but that shit might as well be on my resume.

"uh yea i double majored in procrastination and bullshitin"

its like 4 am and ive been stuck on my research project for like the last 3 hours.

bah.

i had a nice chat with alex (c.) today during lunch.

we conversed on the usual topics like classes and other students.

anyways.

we also talked about his (insanely short) list of girl history.

and it only confirmed what ive always known to be true.

a bad experience early on will ruin a good man.

one bad relationship with a girl whos fucked in the head has the potential to permanently scar a man for the rest of his social life.

god damnit..

dont i know this all too well?

without being a cyber blabbermouth..basically he got out of a bad relationship with a mean, controlling, dramatic and sadly, TYPICAL, girl..

now he tells me hed rather stay single and that relationships are a hassle he doesnt need.

and this is coming from a guy whos voice has never raised above room level and doesn't have a single frown muscle in his face.

i cant imagine how someone that positive can have such a hidden negativity in their lives.

well..

i guess i can.

all it takes is one whore bag to ruin a good man.

put into the equation someone who believes in love and commitment and throw in the slut variable and youve got grounds for serious lifetime tragedy.

im familiar with this scenario and all i can say is 'im' not 'her'

not all women are the same.

dont project that kind of insecure negativity blindly.

i get it.

you've got trust issues.

well FUCK who doesnt?

you cant meet a decent person today who hasnt been mind fucked in the past.

but what im so worried about is the X in the equation.

the NEW person.

the one who has no idea of this dark spot in your history.

the one who likes you for who you are NOW.

regardless of irrelevant past mumble jumble.

what are you gonna do?

push them away by assuming they are JUST like everyone else?

sure.

but damn.

you could sure miss out on something amazing.

how many times are you going to make that past 'mistake'?

just once is enough for me.

is being angry and paranoid and building that stone wall around yourself worth losing the chance to be happy?

yea sure there are no promises and no guarantees.

life, unlike photoshop, has no history and no undo.

we can only try and not make the same mistakes again.

isnt that the way to do anything?

learning isnt really additive.

all youre doing is making less mistakes.

anyways.

im just saying.

i hate that because of mr./mrs. Right Now 4,5,10 years ago, someones going to miss out on mr./mrs. RIGHT.

so... i guess...

dont be blind to whats in front of you.

let history be what it is.

ancient fucking history.

if you live everyday expecting everyone to let you down..youre never going to be happy.

and more importantly youre never going to let ANYONE in.

ok so just to be extra crystal clear...

im not talking directly about anyone specifically.

and im definitely not referring to myself.

so stop the over-analyzing.

its not gonna work.

im a closed book =)

i just wanted to vent about this for a moment i guess.

and also to delay any real work on this damn research project.

that blinking cursor is like a slap in the face.

sigh.

my depression isnt really being helped by these sad ass songs ive had on repeat on my itunes.

right now this is ringing in my ear non stop..

oh danny boy the pipes the pipes are calling

from glen to glen, and down the mountain side

the summer's gone, and all the roses dying

tis you, tis you must go and i must bide

but come ye back when summer's in the meadow

or when the valleys hushed and white with snow

and ill be here in sunshine or in shadow

oh danny boy oh danny boy i love you so

but if he come, when all the roses are dying

and i am dead, as dead i well may be

he'll come and find the place where i am lying

and kneel and say an 'ave' there for me

and i shall feel, tho soft you tread above me

and then my grave will richer, sweeter be

for you will bend and tell me that you love me

and i shall rest in peace until you come to me...

jeezus that song makes me want to curl up and bawl.

plus it is about someone walking on someone elses grave so...yea..haha.

im not in a very uplifting place right now.

on a brighter less suicidal note...

im finally doll-ing up my apartment and i must admit it's looking miiiighty fine.

i set up my shelves and organized my closet and built some ikea furniture.

i still have to drive my tv down from irvine this weekend and lug that 50 pound thing from my car.

im hoping by break time ill actually be able to have other humans over.

only my parents have seen it and they came over when it was thrashed from finals last term.

damnit i feel like every spare moment i have is spent cleaning this shit.

im one person. how the hell am i this messy?

damn.

i type the way i talk.

fast, repetitive, and all over the dame place without ever coming to a conclusion.

fuck i hate art of research.

-_-.

playing picture 'ketchup'

2008-07-15T19:37:00.000-07:00

i still dont have cs3 on my laptop but im getting picture overload so im editing on my pc.
i fucking hate all mac keyboards. wtF is wrong with them.
i can feel the carpal tunnel creeping up.

so... updates..
oh man.
theres some shit i COULD say.
but i wont.
seeing as how previous experiences has taught me better than to go willy nilly and post incriminating comments on the internet.
bleh.
nuff of that.

lets just go in order.

monday - anal-ytical.
im not sure what the final project will be.
so far all we've done is muscle studies and a whole lotta them.
i loves me some anatomy.
lemme just say...if you cant draw to begin with..this class will do nothing for you cept waste your mondays.
and if youre not willing to put in your own time outside of class then you wont get shit from it.
my sunday nights are always spent staying up til the crack of dawn fanning through like 6 different anatomy books to get that shit accurate.

some studies from class.

tuesday - art of research.
this class is definitely going to test my last-minute-miracle-project skills.
plus ive missed 3 classes already.
the first one i was out of town.
the second one was when there was a forum at school and she said we could go but then i didnt go back to class afterwards.
the third was last week when i saw a sign on the door that said 'blackwell - art of research - canceled' and took off without realizing it was for MONDAYS class. fuck me.

wednesday - inventive drawing
im having doubts about my grades in westons classes. i heard hes an easy grader but iono...
so far ive only missed one hw assignment so i guess its not terrible.
i am NOT enjoying the 1 minute poses we've been getting in class the last 3 weeks.

heres a little doodle i did in class because i was so fucking sick of what we were doing.
im trying to do one of everyone in class without being all creepy and staring.

wednesday - sketching for entertainment
if there was ever a class to get a C in, its this one. so far i've missed 3 classes.
again.
the first one i was out of town.
the second one i was with my dad and didnt make it back in time.
the third one was last week when i was a suicide risk on my birthday and he let me go home in the beginning of class.
jeez.
during week 8 and 9 i missed like 4 classes. -_-.
plus i just plain suck at layout.
i have no idea why i took this class.

heres the final sketch for my 'tree-house' assignment.
its a pirate ship/house -_-.
its kinda terrible...

a few weeks ago Bob Singer came to lecture and stopped by Mike Humphries' Style class so we sat in. in the end he did a little doodle of pebbles for me =)
yay!

thursday - history of viscomm
o m g this class is like the thorn in my weekday ass.
its just the whole concept of what the class is suppose to be about.
fuck!
this would be one of the 4 classes i missed last week.
i just cant muster up the strength to drive all the way to school for two hours of sitting in a dark room.
snore.
plus its at the end of my week so it gives me even more incentive to stay home and have a 4 day weekend =D.

workshop sketches

doodle of sarah from adv. sketching

heres some type stuff from last term i never put up.

brush techniques. 'dracula'

final logo design concept. 'jerrys famous deli'
omg the matzo ball soup is fucking amazing.
i would drive all the way to studio city for that shit.

i was flipping through my old sketchbooks and found these two that i liked.
both from 1st term, a year ago!

on sunday i was at my parents for my birthday and was doing copies out of my lion king book.
i did a few hyenas and then i did this copy of this great drawing by mike surrey.
it was such a good scene in the movie.
fuck timon is hard to draw to make him look right. -_-
i bow down.

k thats it.
not very exciting.
ive been in a funk lately.
or at least in and out of it.
fucking rollercoaster.
i NEVER feel on TOP of things.
i feel weak and vulnerable.
like i'll be fine one second and then losing my freaking mind the next.

man.
some people think they CANT hurt me or some shit.
like im this big fucking hollow rock chiseled out of sarcasm and spite.
like i chase my whiskey down with rusty nails.
fuck get real.
i have emotions.
maybe i dont let you in on them but that doesnt mean they're not there.

im still a girl you assholes.

bday blues

2008-07-10T03:19:00.000-07:00

its been a while.
i havent had the chance to update on accounta i got a new laptop but no cs3 yet so havent been able to edit any pictures of recent work.
loads to tell and bitch about.
but its been a long mother of a day.
its not good to wanna die on your birthday.
i would say that the first 21 hours of today blew to new levels of lame-ness.
i had a ruff day on tuesday that i wont get into now.
i apologize to anyone who felt that ice cold shudder from my demeanor today.
it wasnt so much that i was 'sad'. i was just quiet.
i guess for me thats pretty much the same thing.
if nicole is quiet she must have some shit eating her up on the inside.
bleh bleh bleh.
i got over it in the last 3 hrs of the day and managed to have a decent birthday.
i got a few of the best presents anyone has ever given me.
that helped =).
and a nice text message from an old friend always makes ur day a little nicer.

aaron [spurg] asked me wtf i was doing at school on my birthday.
heh. ill be asking you the same shit the day your baby is scheduled for birthing.
'spurg wtf why aint you at the hospital?'
'sonly 3 centimeters dilated. i got time.'
cmoooon you of all people know we 'art centerians' have no decent lives outside those automatic sliding doors.
kudos on the baby news though!
you got cherself a production baby!
spurg, bless his heart.
hes the only person in existance [including myself] that actually reads my blogs.
sorry i missed your portfolio today.
i tore out of sketching early to revamp my head.
next time!

so all in all.. aside from the 8 hours of pure torture i put myself through attempting to act 'normal' in class today [ thank you Will for letting me out early ]....id still say it was a win for me this year.
last years birthday had the shadow of scholarship week upon it and the iconic image of me slaving away another all nighter to finish some crack pot assignment for a douche cock professor.
this years no different cept im caring a whole mess less.
few might ponder how thats even possible.
trust.
i havent even begun to not care.

but thank you to those that remembered today for me.
im sorry i was unpleasant but i am truly grateful for those few seconds you spent on my best wishes. thank you for proving that without facebook i might have even forgotten today. my artsy school chums are the best. thank you guys =))))

and now its nearing 4 am and im about to wind up my new beauty and the beast musical snowglobe, change into my new oswald tshirt, and break in my new mickey mouse blanket

clearly i am the EASIEST person to shop for. ever.

i am one year older and another year closer to lying about my age.
gernight!

hoo-ers

2008-06-12T01:09:00.000-07:00

ah the whores.
or hoo-ers as someone likes to call em.
so i was terribly wrong in my attempts this week.
it was suppose to be 30 pin ups following either dean yeagle or chris sanders exact style.
i could have SWORN he also told me if i wanted to invent my own that was ok too.
but whatever.
these were fine.

in sketching for entertainment we had an assignment where we had to design around a theme. the themes were...something about a door in a room...a kite...a submarine...and a raft. the stories were very brief and vague so you had room for creative diarrhea. i chose to do the raft. the story was about some boys catfishing on a raft on the mississippi.

heres the rough layout.

its whatever.
i have major issues with composition in my work. as in there is none. thats why i took this class so that i would be forced to draw 'stuff' not just characters. overall i think i did ok. he mentioned that i needed more immediate foreground elements and i should drop my horizon a little and put in more shadows to show the underside of the tree.

i like my raft though. i had fun drawing it. it came out pretty much like how i envisioned it.

ehhh sorry the pictures are so washed out.
i just snap these with my crappy camera.

and life drawings from inventive.

i wasnt planning on going to history of viscom tomorrow cuz i had a lunch date. but theres a stupid illustration department meeting i have to go to. ugh. i might as well goto viscom for an hr. im heading back to irvine tomorrow night for an early fathers day dinner. then ive gotta hurry back friday afternoon to make it to painting workshop. also theres another student government meeting. apparently we're deciding on a plausible way to crash the board of trustees meeting next week. drama drama drama.

read all about it in the los angeles times.
alongside that douchecock picture of the president of our school.
gag.

this weekend is going to be full of painting, workshops, and mother-effing breakthroughs.
im on it.

or not.
iono.

mus-cols!

2008-06-09T22:49:00.000-07:00

i am an anatomy hound.
im so into this right now you have no idea.
im ready to just peel the skin off my legs.
or i could just go to this.
either way i need to see some muscols!

some studies from class.

homework.
muscles renderings (40% overlay on ps)

meanwhile ive been trying to keep up with my break doodles.
during the little 5 mins model breaks i tend to draw stupid little characters to amuse and keep myself awake. there are probably hundreds of these things in all my biggie pads. i use to cut them out during first term but ive become lackadaisical with it.

doodle of our model Dick

doodle of some girl in class
(anyone whose seen this knows exactly who im talking about haha)

and for inventive...
one more thumper.

and ladys

this weeks assignment is 30 pin-ups.
right up my alley.
i probably already have 30 just randomly in my sketchbook.
but heres a ruff i did today in workshop.

and finally...
ive been sneaking into gary meyers advanced sketching class to do caricatures from the models each week after analytical. i love doing these. i just hope the models never see them =).

i went to the dodger game on friday.
they owned those cubbies so bad.
yea! those are my BOYS!
then i caught kung fu panda on saturday.
oh man ive been hyping up that movie everyday for like 6 months.
and i was NOT disappointed.
my socks were indeed knocked off.
i cant STAND jack black.
but no one could have voiced Po better.
i give it up to tha man.
but my favorite is master oogway.
cept he was suppose to have a sidekick. a tiny little snail that sat on the end of his staff.
too bad he didnt make it to final cut.
man the characters on this were NUTS.
big ups to my man Nico.
that guy can DRAW.
oh em gee.

my next big hype movie of COURSE is dark night.
i do wanna watch wallE but im not gonna fight the opening day crowd for that shit.
it looks OK. not great.
and im excited for hellboy.
but that poster of joker gives me chills every time.
hype hype hype!!!

back to my pin ups.
bring on the sexay ladies.

thumpaaaahs

2008-05-28T20:29:00.000-07:00

doing mah weeklies for inventive drawing.
this week was thumper.
basically we just take the character and make up 30 (quick) poses for them.

heres a page i half cheated on.
(i watched a clip from the movie)

heres one that just OOZES cuteness.

and heres my favorite.
how i feel during lectures sometimes.

yea yea i know.
they're not perfect but i had a go and im really feeling that blue col-erase pencil.
next week is bambi and lady (lady and the tramp).
make up 40 heads/expressions.
i am LOVING these weeklies and i cant wait to sit my ass down and doodle.

after finishing my first year at art center i'm finally beginning my core track classes.
im having a ball in this class and sketching for entertainment.

i had a chat with mike humphries today (lion king, hunchback) and got the word that the school wont offer him full time.

fuck what douchebags.

anyhoo.
i can now doodle thumpers in my sleep.
me and him are like thiiiiiis.

me diz-nuh-fied!

2008-05-28T20:04:00.000-07:00

hmm if i were a disney character i think itd go a lil summin like this...

course im not really keen on how to properly DRAW cynicism but fer now it'll do.

3rd term finals recap.

2008-05-13T00:22:00.000-07:00

today was the first day of 4th term.
heres what the damage looks like.

monday: 8-1 analytical figure drawing
tuesday: 9-12 creative strategies 12-3 art of research
wednesday: 8-1 inventive drawing 2-7 sketching for entertainment
thursday: 12-3 history and principles of vis comm.

i finally have fridays off. glory glory!
i checked the workshop schedule for this term and its complete ass.
theres only figure workshops on monday, wednesday and friday.
gaaaah...

ok so as i promised..
here is what finals looked like last term.

monday: materials of art and design
final: independent
process: i sculpted an anchor out of armature and sclupey

and then had it cast in bronze at a foundry

"i" was done at that point.
but he wanted a stand and a story to go with it so i made this stupid thing.
the nails around the anchor were holding it down but i ripped them apart and took the anchor out before i took this picture so thats why it looks all messed up.

time spent: 10 hrs.
cost: around $100
damage to apartment: minimal (all done in model shop at school)
damage to self: i smashed my thumb with the hammer once and the anchor was sitting on the floor leaning up against my wall and it fell over on my foot. that effin thing weighs like 5 pounds.
final grade: A-

tuesday: sketching for illustration
final: 'crime scene' painting (it was due week 12 thank god.)
time spent: lost count.....at least 40 from concept to finish
cost: 4 sleepless nights
damage to apartment: minimal paint splatters
damage to self: only to my health
final grade: B+

wednesday: digital illustration
final: character development project. 2 products. 1 soft good and 1 hard good.
process: my character was fat superman.

turnaround

my hard good was a 'donut plate'

and my soft good was a big body pillow

he swore there was a sewing machine on campus but i asked and it was nowhere to be found.
so i did that shit by HAND. took fucking 6 hours.
bloody fucking murder.

time spent: altogether 12 hrs.
cost: $30
damage to apartment:
damage to self: countless pricks on that fucking needle
final grade: A-

and i also had to design a paper toy for this class a few weeks before and this was my finished project...

the print outs

the finished rabbit

thursday: design 2
final: 3D abstraction of selected theme based on a cube.
process: this shit took up my entire life for the last two weeks of term.
and it still turned out shitty.
well it was fine until one of the guys in shop decided to come by and ruin it. fucking tards. he was suppose to be an 'expert' at gluing acrylic together. trust, he is NOT.

my theme was Earth and Water.
my idea was to make a cube globe. wood = earth and acrylic = water.
the globe is actually inverted so the world sorta exists on the inside of itself.
i took sizes of circular and square dowels and worked my design accordingly over a world map. then i laser cut the acrylic sides at 97.5%. i measured, cut and sanded all my wood and fit them into the acrylic. everything is FRICTION FIT. there is no glue used to hold the wood and acrylic together. the only gluing was to secure the cube together at the seams in the end. and thats when the shit hit the fan. i was 4 hrs late trying to fix that fuckholes mistake. its ok. i got an A =)

time spent: omg...30+ hrs. in those 14 days alone i was in the model shop more than in my entire life. i saw those shop guys more than ive seen my parents all term.
cost: around $80 i think
damage to apartment: it doesnt look so bad but there was major potential for disaster with those fucking dowels rolling around everywhere

damage to self: on the morning of, i was hacking away on the band saw (for the non-artsies, a band saw is exactly what it sounds like. its a saw in the form of a band thats wrapped around a motor and cuts pretty much anything.) and i guess my hand slipped and i hit my index finger against the blade. it caught my ring and i flicked my hand away.

check out the damage next to that dot on the left.

i was already running late but i really had to stop for a second and realized what almost happened to my finger.

battle wounds baby.

final grade: A-

friday: expressive typography
final: CD cover
process: i chose elvis (duh) and designed this text (all done by hand)...

final cover (little blurry)..

time spent: 10 hrs
cost: just printing fees
damage to apartment: none
damage to self: none
final grade: A

and it all adds up to...
at the END of finals week...

my computer desk:

my drafting table:

and my glorious brand new apartment:

i tore my shit UP.

sidenote...
ive been at ac for a year and ive never walked into the fine arts gallery. (for my own...ahem...reasons) but during break from sketching on the final day this is what i discovered was in there...

there was a new installation and from the outside this is all you can see...

but once you go inside the gallery this is what was behind the sheet..

a HUGE fucking 30 people bed.

i have no idea who did it but NEVER has there been a more appropriate project during finals week.
it was bliss.

i saw iron man yesterday.
it was ok.
a few parts made me tickle.
damn RD jr. got CUUUUUT for that movie.
i know a certain someone else who looks just as good and better =)
and the man sings!
swoon.
anyhoo now my schedule is all off key.
i was doing the 2-2 thing like everyone else (sleeping 2am to 2pm) for most of break and now my internal clock is severely hung over.
i must recoop now.
according to up there i have 9am class.

celebridrama!

2008-04-21T01:12:00.000-07:00

fuck what is it about z-list celebs and reality shows that just equals good bad tv?
those fucking people think they can do everything.
lose weight, survive ghost hunts, find love, perform magic,...etc...
its brilliant!
oh im totally done and washed out and havent worked for 20+ years but now i want you to watch a camera follow me around all day while i shop for cheese and get my nails done.
fanTAStic.
especially when they brawl.
now thats just plain ol good tv.
watching has-beens claw at each others eyes like fucking pumas.
so great!

ahh...
term is over!
finals were brutal as shit.
i tore my new place UP.
so bad that i had to take pictures just to document the destruction.
it was kinda sad i had to do that to my new apartment after only living there for 2 weeks.
=(.
i effin love my new digs.
ill be bachelorette-fying the place up during my break.
im thinking pink and shag.

inbetween

2008-04-01T03:28:00.000-07:00

i picked up my keys to my new place today.
im feeling goooooood.
but i totally shouldnt be blogging right now..with my final painting for kato due tomorrow.
im like 90% done.
but im taking a break and uploading some files off my camera so i can clear up some space.

iono how i feel about today.
i had a chat with jesse in class and realized that most men do think the same way.
men and women cant be friends because the guy always wants to sleep with the girl.
i guess it was true 'when harry met sally'
so why wouldnt it be true today?
he said he had the same conversation with his gf and she didnt believe him either -_-.
its hard for me to imagine that every guy friend i have wants to boink me.
i JUST dont think thats the case.
jesse did also say that im manly as shit.
ive got balls AND testicles.
maybe that helps.
i guess im very bro-y at school.
or maybe its just the way men are wired.
but i dont think that has anything to do with me personally.
men are just fickle.
=)

as of right now i have two apartments.
i couldnt do any moving today because i was finishing up this god forsaken painting.
so im already into the 1st of the month over here =(.
luckily ray is being understanding and letting me spill over into april a little bit.
but i gotta really start making some trips over there after class tomorrow afternoon.
i havent really dont anything because i know as soon as i start packing shit will be everywhere and i wont be able to do any work.
so i sorta gotta do everything in one day.
fuck why did i sign up for this week 12??
-____-.

change.

2008-03-26T01:44:00.001-07:00

we all go thru it.
and we all bitch about it.
good or bad. i think we need both.
its been happening a little too drastically to me recently.
a little here and there adds up.
but the cake of it all of course was the ending of a 5 year relationship.
breakups, no matter how abrupt, inevitable, or one-sided are never easy for the parties at hand.
technically i had been with him for a quarter of my life.
thats a little scary right?
that first morning where you wake up and suddenly realize everythings changed.
thats the morning to live thru.
if u can make it thru that then u should be alright.

im moving again.
i signed a one year lease.
its weird right?
i cant commit to breakfast sides but yet i gotta commit to where i sleep.
the place is alright.
its actually a two bedroom apartment but theres two separate entrances and the door that connects the two rooms is blocked off.
so i have my own master bedroom and bathroom.
its sorta like living in a studio apartment.
i like it because i dont have to go thru someone elses house to get to my room.
i hate pretending to be nice.
and at the end of a long day i just cant muster the strength to be pleasant.
theres underground gated parking and an elevator that takes me up so hurrah!
no more dragging alla my shiet up stairs.
oi i hate that.
everywhere i live theres fucking stairs.
the girl that lives in the other room has like the opposite schedule as me.
she goes to uci and lives in irvine during the week and goes home to alhambra on the weekend.
while im the exact vice versa.
nifty.
im looking forward to the solitude.
i know im going thru a sorta lonely binge right now but its different.
right now i cant really come home to peace and quiet so really i just feel the need to do stuff in avoidance.
but if i had my own place it would be different.
sanctuary!
the only issue is the current tennants leaving on the 30th which is this sunday.
so i have to move in next week during the week.
and two weeks before finals....is not a smart move on my part.
blah.
i think i need to break it up into 5 or 6 mini trips.
its only 5 minutes away from here so not so bad.
i was dying to find a place in glendale so i could be closer to school but that shit is way over priced.
whatev.
ill deal.

i missed class on monday.
but for a really fantastic reason i promise.
so far ive missed one session in each of my classes cept one.
and im about to have my second absence in my wednesday class tomorrow.
shit.
im scroooood.
but i have an even better reason to miss this one.
i think ill have another 3.30 term.
bah.
im over it.
i went over my schedule for summer and it looks alright.
cept i have a 9-4 class on monday.
yeesh.
how did i ever accomplish anything in those 56 minute classes in highschool?
malarkey!

i have my 3rd term review meeting tomorrow.
we're going over my first year at art center and choosing a track for me to go into transition.
blah blah.
im over it.

its 4 am.
i always do this.
i stay up late on monday nights painting then sleep tuesday afternoons after class.
then i wake up at like 8 and i cant sleep.
my stupidity knows no bounds

gnite.

someone sang this song to me =)

good night sleep tight
dont let the bed bugs bite
if they do get a shoe
hit them til theyre black and blue

aww garrrrsh. =D

friday night blues.

2008-03-15T03:58:00.001-07:00

they're never all that great but this friday night has been particularly bad. im not sure why. type got out a little early and i went to workshop for a little bit. i had good intentions to stay but ended up chatting with gary meyer outside. he told me about his curriculum a little bit when he went to art center and about the classes he's going to be teaching this summer. and i rambled about my stupid meaningless crap. its so freaking easy to talk to that man. i just want to pour my achy breaky little heart all out to him. i bet a hug from gary meyer cures cancer.

anyhoo.
after that i chatted with larry about his misfortunes this term. it's wierd. we have sketching together every week but we never talk in that class. when i saw him tonight i felt like i hadn't seen him in weeks. must be because im always so damn burnt out in that class. yeesh.

well after that i packed it up and went home. in my car i felt this wierd discomforting need to go and 'do something' like i really wanted to go to a starbucks and veg out on caffeine and sit and doodle for a few hours. or barnes and noble. but it was like 930 and i decided against it. but for some reason this friday night was unusually lonely for me. i know i have tons of homework but i just didnt feel like doing any of it. and i really didnt want to go home and deal with...that...but i did.

sigh.

i stayed home and watched movies and doodled in my brand spanking new sketchbook. its my greatest fucking joy in life... cracking open a brand new sketchbook and totally tearing that shit up with my sillyness. call it pathetic i dont give a care. that is my bliss. and according to joseph campbell, i should be following it.

goodnight champs.
ill say a little prayer for yaw.

midterms = joys of sleeping on that nasty ass couch in front of the library.

2008-02-28T01:40:00.000-08:00

yep i was knocked the fuck out on that shit for 3 hrs today waiting for my class to start. funny thing is when i woke up there was some guy on the other couch snoring and shit. i was like damn...place to be!

i cant believe its fucking mid term. ridiculous. my midterm for materials was the most disgusting, pink, shiny, DRAG piece of shit ive ever made. at one point i really had to stop and look at it and think...damn i just made paris hilton a dildo. fuck a nut.
so i started with my wood spindle that i made on the lathe and i sliced that shit up and painted it..then i lasercut acrylic squares to glue onto the slices then spiral stacked them to create this stripper nightmare.

from this...

to THIS! FABulous!

then i missed my tuesday class because of...reasons...-_-...and had to make it up wednesday morning..so i ended up with 6 hrs to kill at school before my night class. so lame. i wanted to sleep so badly but didnt wanna drive home then come back...which is prolly what i shoulda done. whatever. ive got this elvis piece due tomorrow for design 2. it looks pretty awesome. not that im to blame for that. the man is GORGEOUS. hell yea thats what i need. my very own elvis to sing me to sleep. love me tender baby. take me to heartbreak hotel. N-E-time.

then friday i have my final copy of my sans serif restaurant logo to present. i redid Jerry's Famous Deli. that shit took way too long to ink. omGAH. hand done lettering is like the fat pustuling boil on your ass that you just cant reach.

oh gawd i have my 3rd term review next wednesday. i cant believe its been almost a year since i started art center. that is outrageous.

on a brighter note..
i was really really happy for about an hour today when i thought i had found the absolute PERFECT place to live. oh man. it was a dream. too good to be true...cuz it WAS. someone had already taken it...like at the beginning of term. damn u whoever u are! i guess that note wasnt too bright either...

how about...i friggin LOVE steaming vanilla chai with my homemade banana bread. oh my GAH you have NO idea what youre missing. so good you'll suck a dick =)

i must be off now. the mind is strong but the body is totaled.

hackin, procrastinatin, and random pictures.

2008-02-19T20:20:00.001-08:00

i think im coming down with some bullshit hack.
although since ive stopped smoking i can feel a significant difference in the degree of phlegm and burning.
blah.
i should be working on digistration stuff but i reeeeally dont wanna.
sketching was a pain today.
4 hrs of critiquing. JEEEEEZ...
heres my master copy...
sargents ' head of a capri girl '
took about 12 hrs.
still could use like 3 more i think...oh well..

heres some different angles of my laser cut project for materials from last week.
i cut out my name.
my professor said it looks like what letters do on their day off.
haha.
cool ill take it.

an old school pic...
from 1st term..
my final project for comp and drawing.
it was a ukiyo-e inspired painting done for the new yorker magazine with a greek mythology theme. it was....fucking CRAZY to deal with....

from 2nd term...
and THIS is what i did to my coffee cups during modernism every fucking monday morning......-_-....
and probably also why she gave me a B-..

and finally....
pics with gary meyer on the last day of school during 2nd term...

isnt he the cutest little man!!!!
last week i went to see him lecture for the club working title and after the lecture i was like 'i love you gary!!' and hes like 'oh! i love you too!' and then he poked some guy standing next to him and was like 'heh heh...its valentines day'
hahahahaha...OMG....hahahahahaaaaaaa.....

ok ive wasted enough time...
i think i need to start working...ugggggh.
i hate it i hate it!

im fucking irritated and depressed as this moment stands.. sigh...
we'll see if this changes before i go to bed....-_-....

today.

2008-02-17T01:32:00.000-08:00

took the parents to school today.
i think im in the process of moving again.
fuck a nut.
i move every fucking term.
i just cant deal with alla the bullshit right now.
between my parents house in irvine and my place in alhambra and all the places in between i just cant keep my shit together.
im not sure what it is.
im just so fucking drained right now.
one day im up and the next im so down.
a tepid middle just doesnt exist in my fucked up life.
its 2 am.
im in irvine watching pay it forward on tbs.
fuck this movie is depressing as shit.
ive got a lotta work to do.
i gotta knock out this sargent master copy tomorrow.
and i have to make up for not going to digistration last week.
due to the absolute joy that is jury duty.
aaand do this weeks assignment.
jeebus.
i freegin hate that class.
i hate d2 as well but i fucking rocked that shit this week.
hell yes i surely did.

god this movie is a surefire way to the bottom of a kleenex box.
fuck you kevin.
fuck you haley joel.
ugh.

i had such good intentions of putting up pictures of my line and dot project.
but my card reader wont work on this computer.
blast!
im proud of that big waste of time. =)
i was in the lab at school working til 1.
then as i was speeding down the hill i got pulled over. -_-.
he said i rolled through the red light when i turned right.
and one of my break lights are out.
i already forget which one.
but i was careful to be ever so grateful that he put me in the know.
har.
then i went home to mount my shit together...and went to bed around 3.
i set my alarm for 6 and woke up at 9:58.
the second i awoke to sunlight in my face i realized something was up.
then i actually laid in bed for like a minute and a half to dwell in the fact that i was fucked sideways.
then i proceeded to cut my regular 30 minute morning routine down to 7.
blah.
well long story short i got to my 5 hour class 4 hrs late.
and ended up with the 2nd highest grade on my project.
yay-uh.

i love late night infomercials.
and the stupid shit they sell.
theres this craft lite cutter that just drives me to shits everytime i see it.
its a stupid fucking paper cutter.
'are you tired of not being able to cut straight lines with scissors?'
and this bitch cuts the most outrageous line ever lols.
HAHAHAHAHAHA...omg...
and then 'and those regular paper cutters are ok but you can never tell exactly where its gonna cut!'
and she cuts this photo like 4 inches away from the line.
hahaha.
fucking great!

ahhhh..
fuck this movie.
rip my guts out.

its 4 now.
i really should be asleep.
murder at 1600 is on now.
fuck i wanna watch it.
bah.

good night.

i caved..

2008-01-14T04:31:00.000-08:00

and finally made one of these ridiculous things.